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I just joined @theelektromafia.

4 Jul

I just joined @theelektromafia. Can\t wait to go to raves for free and spread the EDM love! Be my partner in crime!.

 

If you love EDM as much as i do, go join the Elektro Mafia!!

Sneaky is, as Sneaky does.

15 Jun

K had a dance performance today. And i tottaly wanted to go, even though i was dead beat from wokring in mum’s school all day long. And so i gave up sleeping in the afternoon, got up, had a bath (AGAIN!), got ready, drove in the evening traffic, reached the place, parked in the slam bam fulled parking lot (WTF!) and climbed up millions of stairs to reach the seats, (i know he’s my cuz but no way am i paying SO MANY MAD CHEDDA$$ just to see him dance) ( i mean, i can just punch him and make him do it home) (okay, the punching isn’t necessary) , Anyways, so we reach the top, sit for an hour and watch random people dance, NOTE: Guys who dance are HOT! , and then finally we get to know that his dance was done before we even reached. 

no matter how pissed at ourselves we were, we couldn’t break his heart, and hence the sneakiness, we met him, hugged him, congratulated him, and then said he did an amazing job, and that we really enjoyed his performance. How sneaky was that?!  Its the kind of sneakiness i’ve seen only on Full House, and it made me feel like a part of a family, that likes to see each other happy. Even though i know that i suck at keeping secrets, and will tell him. Maybe soon. I think i’ll go call him up right now. Just ask how he is. 

This is from the heart.

13 Jun

yeah, so waddup wordpress? I know you’re thinking i use you only when i’m sad, and well, that is kind of true. So now that we have that out of thw way can we get down to me being sad and moping? Thanks, Appreciate it. 

You know how MM left us all in Jan, it sucked, and i miss her every single day, in fact i miss her so much i think i see her at night, freaky huh? i think its just my guilt getting the better of me. the fact that i was a colossal bitch to her sometimes. Only sometimes. Not always, not on a regular basis, maybe just 1 or 3 times. And i miss her so much, it hurts. people are wrong, the pain does not get better after some time. It just hurts even more. When the realization slowly sinks in. maybe i thought that it’ll get better after, she’ll come back. she isn’t. She never is. and i have to move on. 

The fact is though that there was always MM2, (they both have the same initials) and she and my mum supported each other pretty well. They were there for each other, cause only they knew what was going on the others mind, only 2 sisters can share the pain of loosing another sister. And now she’s going too. Back to the place she doesn’t really belong in, but only cause there’s a ‘better life’ there. Bullshit. She’s a coward. maybe staying here reminds her of MM too much, or maybe she just wants to go the place of less dirt and pollution, i don’t know, and know what? i don’t care. She’s leaving all of us, for something, and there is nothing in this world that can justify that. Nothing at all. and i am so mad at her, that i can’t talk to her without being rude, and i will so regret this after she’s gone, that the last few days we had together before god knows when we’ll get to meet next, and i was only rude to her. But i can’t be nice. 

because if i put the anger aside for a second, there’s only pain in me. Pain so massive that i might just explode. and somehow the anger seems like a better alternative cause i can take it out on someone. And i know its not gonna get easier as time goes on. The past few weeks, stuff has just been building up, and one day i’m not gonna be able to take it anymore. I can’t. I’m weak, i know that, because only the weal blame others. i just want it all to get over, just make all the tension and pain and EVERY OTHER SHITTY THING TO STOP!!!

because i’ve had it, i’m done, i’m tired of arguing with people i love, people who only want the best for me. 

I’m tired of resisting change around. 

i’m tired of denying that MM is gone. she’s not coming back.

i’m tired of refusing to accept that MM2 is leaving too. 

And, i’m tried of refusing to accept help.  

 

People always leave. Always, the world is a sad selfish place, and we’re all in it alone. there’s no one here to help us, or support us. We’re in it alone. and its time I accepted this fact myself. 

I knew It!

18 Mar

This happens each time! I come back to this godforsaken place and loose all touch with humantiy! 😦 but thank god for expensive phones with loads of features I know nothing about and really expensive data plans. Though that too doesn’t help much because of the fact that the cellphone coverage is also really shitty, and now I’m pretty sure that this is going to turn into a rant session, so bear with me. ( Bare with me? I dunno! ). So I come here after so long, mainly cause the father about whom I ranted 2 posts down ( another rant blog! Good God!) Made me pack my stuff and come here, mind you, with an uncle I have rarely talked to, an extremely uncomfortable car drive that I would rather forget, except a car drive is better than the bus anyday. Now that I think of it, why did he make me go with my uncle? He never has before! Oh my Pokemon ( omg is to been there, done that, OMP is the new thing) he must have thought I’d run away or something, again the whole ‘he doesn’t trust me’ scene. :/ So anyways, I’m back here, and our teachers are now asking why are we back!!! I mean, is this complete FML or what?? They say, you have just 2 months left (countdown thingy at the bottom right!, do I have to tell you everything! Keep up!), enjoy them with your frnds and there is no need to attend classess. Great. It gets better, I tell that to my dad and he asks me if I want him to call the Chairman and complain. 😐 why! Why do I have to be the one to go through all this? Can he not just accept that he was wrong and come to get me? ( I don’t wanna travel in buses anymore ). This something a friend forwarded to me today – 21-26 is not that nice an age that we had imagined..Your ex-s are getting married , Your career has just started, Elders treat you as unproven theorems, people think your always wrong even when your right. Your too old for college but too young for work… You seem to enjoy both cartoon and news. You can no longer eat whatever you wish without being conscious or putting on weight. Every Aunt you meet asks “When are YOU getting married?!!” while uncles ask “Waht have you planned for the future?”.. When the reality is that you are just riding the wave and going with the flow… You have all the confidence in the world but little achievements to show, You already have the first hand experience of life , You know that whatever you have been taught about the world in schools has been sheer waste of time. You can be denied a job even after passing the test and you could be given a job even if you know someone placed high enough… Politics till now was a dirty word but now you feel it everywhere. You know now love is not that blind and that friendship sometimes has its terms and conditions. And you now realize that this age and part of life is not exactly what we thought of ! 🙂 ^^ that is so effing true. I’m scared of the future now.

enough already!!

13 Mar

Jeez! i read yesterday’s post and i’m turning into something i never wanted to turn into – a WHINER!!! *sobs into hands dramatically to have my dog bark at me*

 

i have no idea when my life turned into that direction, whining is something i did long long ago but i swore to give it up, mainly cause i got sick of hearing myself after a while, and also cause i realised that i have a lot of things to be happy about and less to be sad about. 

so i will be happy now! like Mike Shonoda is in the picture below – 

Image

on a happy note, i go back to my uni tomorrow! and i am happy about that only and only because i have just 2 months left there! i will then be a graduate! bwa-hahahahaha! 

Whats worse than

12 Mar

a parent who doesn’t love you? one who doesn’t trust you. 

 

i was always very proud of the fact that my parents had unbounded trust and me, and never ever questioned me or stopped me from doing anything. and i can say proudly that i never ever broke their trust of took advantage of it. i thought we had a good thing going. but today, infact just a few minutes ago i found out that i was wrong, and thought tears well up inside my eyes right now, i will not cry. i can be stronger than that. i have to be stronger than that. because whats worse than having your parents not trust you? nothing. trust is the basis of all relationships, of any kind, and now i all i have a shell of one with my parents

thank you Dad, for shouting on me, (i’m used to that), and calling me a liar to my face. i needed it to grow up and let go you guys. as i have now. 

Where Elephants ride Unicycles

16 Jan

She dreamed of para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

La la la La
La la la

So lying underneath those stormy skies.
She said oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
I know the sun must set to rise.

Mylo Xyloto, oh! how i have waited for you! Coldplay is epic, there is no denying that fact, and the video ( and the song ), Paradise, goes on to prove that. I’ve been a Coldplay fan ever since i heard “Yellow”, Chris Martin has an amazing and unique voice and all songs are a testimony to that. Now, i’m not going to review the whole album, cause i don’t do reviews, just not in the mood for it today, maybe some other day, or maybe even tomorrow i’ll talk about the whole album, today i just want to focus on Paradise!

For all the haters out there, c’mon! every band has to come out with an album that’s different! its called GROWING UP! maybe, you should try it to! so what if its disappointing, and the lyrics so teenager-ish, it’ll just make us appreciate their next album more! and that most music critics gave them 5 out of 10, pfshh! what do critics know! 😐

Mock the album all you want though, what i don’t get it, how can anybody not like Elephants riding tricycles?  notice, i say elephants on tricycles, cause i’m not an elephant fan in general, i’m more of a Penguin person, cause they are way more awesome and funny too. But, here you don’t have just an elephant, you have an elephant that is dancing AND riding a unicycle. that’s just AMAZING!!! you have to appreciate it, and though it know, that’s its Chris Martin under the suit, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that he wearing an elephant suit.