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Off with her head.

3 Oct

WordPress. I haven’t forgotten about you, I just have better things to do.

Okay, not really. I’m just so tired all the time!! ugh. Teaching is fuckin hard and someone should have warned me about it. Trying to teach 34 2nd grade kids who’re 3 years behind grade level and can barely speak english is a nightmare, but given a chance I won’t change it at all.

Other than that, it’s all kind of been really lame. Besides that fact that I’m drinking fairly regularly. Funnily enough this time last time, I’d had only 2 drinks in my entire life and just Tuesday I was out till 3 am. Nana’s in the hospital, they say he might have lung cancer. Hes 90 years old. Pixie might have an infection. Life just goes on getting suckier by the day.

Anyway, take a song and i’ll try to be back soon.

GHOST TOWN – Off with her head. 

Yeah, this downward spiral’s going viral,
In the coliseum people screamin’, “Off with her head!”
I’ve never been so loyal, nor have I bowed so deeply.
Locked in the pillory, I’m paralyzed.
Is this a reflection of humanity?
No this mustn’t be the end. No this mustn’t be the end!

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We’ve already won

11 Jun

WordPress! *hugs* I’ve missed you.

 

Maybe.

 

Blegh. I just don’t have anything to really write about. No wait. Actually I do. But I’m going to start an entirely new blog for that because it’s going to be taking up the next 2 years of my life and there’s also the whole issue of that being completely associated with me and you still having no idea. Bwahahahaha. Anyway. I don’t really think anything much has been up with me in the time that I’ve been absent, other than the thing that needs its own blog.

 

Yep. I guess that’s it. I’m only posting ’cause I don’t want you to think that I’ve abandoned you. I haven’t. Totally.

 

ANYWAY! Take a song.

Young Volcanoes – Fall Out Boy

Tonight the foxes hunt the hounds
It’s all over now before it has begun
We’ve already won

Or was that just a telescopic camera nod?

6 Dec

|Random post titles are random. Pay no attention.|

WordPress, I go for a few days and you change! Talk about love. 😀 (Scoff all you want, but you need to be nice to technology, when they take over the world, you’ll be sorry you never said “Hi!” to you coffee machine)

Being in a perpetual state of confusion is tiring, but if there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the years ’bout myself, it really doesn’t help to push. I never do anything if people keep nagging me. Once they, and I, leave myself alone, I almost always get the work done/decisions made, even if I cut it real close. There’s just this moment, and I might be just lazying around and doing nothing till then, but when that moment strikes, I’ll get the work done. Almost always.

Like today, they’ve been after me to book the GMAT for months. I’ve been after me to book the GMAT for months, and even though loads of times I’ve opened the site and selected the date I never clicked, “Pay.”. Just didn’t feel like it. I finally did it today. We were watching TV, I got my dads credit card and just booked the test. (21st Dec. The panic’s gonna hit tomorrow. I’m in denial now). But I feel kinda good. As I always do after a decision is made. This is still not really what I wanna do, but for now, while I can’t think of anything else, atleast I know that I’ll be doing something. And that feels good.

And trust Fall Out Boy to write a song with Water Buffaloes in the title. With no mention of said animal? Mammal!! in the song at all.

 

He’s so sad!! Someone needs to write a song for him. (Dude. I’ve already written the worlds lamest story. I’m not even going near water buffaloes.)

He was a sad little fellow, 
that water buffalo . . . . . . .  .

My blog posts are totally like Fall Out Boy songs.

Random titles with even more random words. 😀

One day, fo sho, I’m gonna talk about meaningful stuff. One day.

Fall Out Boy – Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes                  

Detox just to retox
And I’d promise you anything for another shot at life
And perfect boys with their perfect lives
Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy

And guarantee a source divine.

27 Nov

There’s a lot I want to talk about. Loads and loads of things, I’d thought ’em all out, I wanted to talk about my top 3 lyricists, the mystery of the missing hair bands that led me to make a new one out of golden ribbon, which I wear all the time now, the fact that FatDog turned four a few days back. I want to talk about all of that. But, currently I’m a little busy marveling at my lack of reaction.

My complete lack of any kind of reaction to the fact that one of my friends was in the hospital. To the fact that he has something which is incurable  To the fact that I’m one of the only few people who know, mostly ’cause he needed my “logical” opinion on something. The fact that i’m not having any reaction of any kind. Wow. This is something that’s bothered me ever since my grandpa asked me if I even miss MM. After I got over the anger, i thought about it. I don’t cry. When everyone sits together, and conversation (as always) turns to her, and everyone cries, I don’t. I’m the one who’s staring at the floor, feeling awkward. I don’t sit and miss her and cry. In fact I try not to think about her. This would make sense if I was an inherently emotionless person, but I’m not. I’m one of the most emotional people I know. Till last year I used to cry a lot. ALOT! So this is kind of disturbing, now that I’ve noticed it.

It’s like I’m immune to all kinds of pain now. Like sad pains. I distinctly remember shedding a tear last month when mom got all in my face, so I still get angry/frustrated.

Huh.

This is certainly interesting.

Placebo – Blind

(I’m on such a Placebo rush these days! When I’m not listening to Flo Rida. 😐 )
(^ I’ll elaborate on that later)
I know I broke it.

 

There has to be an off button for this thing somewhere, right? RIGHT?

7 Nov

I’m crazy and I’m hurt 
Head on my shoulders 
It’s going…berserk

Nervous Breakdown – Black Flag (it just fit the thing going on here!)

                                                                                  
Overthinking.

I have a serious problem with overthinking. It sucks. I think too much. About random stuff, about small stuff, stuff that I shouldn’t even have to worry about. Maybe worry is the wrong word, ’cause I’m not stressing or anything. I just think. About stuff. I think I’ve already said this.

Yeah, I’ll try explain with an example, like we do in maths. (Da fuq! I’m using maths references! What is this madness? Make it stop!) I don’t like to text people much. Mostly due to the lack of emotions in texting, what i meant to be sarcastic might come across as rude to someone else, or I might misinterpret what someone said. It’s just annoying, and thanks to my current operator, texting and calling, almost cost me the same. But some people insist on texting (wordpress, why are you making that red squiggly line under this? Texting is so totally a word.), so when i have to do that, i take ages thinking about how i should phrase what i want to say, so that it does not come across in the wrong way to the person I’m sending it to. So, I’m not really worrying, I’m just thinking a lot.

Maybe it’s the same. I am really sleep deprived right now. 😐

So, yep, i think I alot. That’s what ’causes the insomnia too. I think. And not even about stuff that’s deep or ya know, ’bout MM, (It’s gonna be a year in January. A year.). I think about lame stuff, like what would shaggy talk about if he could talk, or if like those movies, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, they made one called Giant Panda vs. Kick ass Penguin, who would win ? (Penguin ofc! Really, if you even read this blog at all, and then say panda, I am disappointed  How could you do this to me? It’s always Penguin. Always. ). That kind of stuff.

Basically, all I want to be able to do is to shut the thinking off, maybe a flip switch for the brain. I don’t think there’s one. There should be, ’cause I really really need to sleep.And stop thinking about stuff so much. It’s annoying. Yeah, i annoy myself sometimes.

I don’t think you believe me on the Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus think. Here, take the movie poster.

Now do you believe me that such, for lack of a better word, kick ass, movies are real and exist in our world.

Winner eats all. 

They said it, not me.

And for the record, I asked quite a few people about the Panda vs. Penguin epic battle, everyone said Penguin. I ❤ my peeps.

I’m saying peeps, and using Italics more than necessary, I should sleep. Except I can’t. Insomnia is a bitch.

I leave you with :

Gotta Be Somebody’s Blue – Jimmy Eat World. 

When you’re feeling moot
You can have your conscience all you want
You can’t say I do nothing yeah
I put it off

I don’t have a Lawyer,and hopefully no one will sue me.

6 Nov

OR

The day my iTunes shuffle decided to be nice to me and play good songs, one after the other. 😀

Seriously, I hate putting my iPod or any other music player on shuffle, ’cause I have songs in ’em that I don’t really listen to anymore, they pop up all of a sudden and that just ruins it. I didn’t even the realise the friggin thing was on shuffle!. Anyway, it’s like one of those moments thingys. Songs.

It started with –

Our lawyer made us change the name of the song so we wouldn’t get sued – Fall Out Boy 
Honey this mirror, isn’t big enough for the two of us – My Chemical Romance (This song is so so apt today, it’s ridiculous.)
Baby Dracula – Scarling.
 The Capitol – Good Charlotte
Sons Gonna Rise – Citizen Cope
Victimized – Linkin Park
Reinventing the wheel to run myself over – Fall Out Boy
Thirsty and Miserable – Black Flag
Wicked Game – Three Days Grace
Famous Last Words – My Chemical Romance (I get a mini heart attack each time this comes up on shuffle)
Post Blue – Placebo
Called Out In the Dark – Travis
Wouldn’t it be good – Danny Hutton Hitters (Pretty in Pink OST)
Seize the Day – Avenged Sevenfold  
Something in my eye – Turin Brakes
Blackout – Linkin Park
My Boy builds Coffins – Florence and the Machine
Ready for love – Mindless Self Indulgence
I can’t make up my mind – The Zombies 
To The End – My Chemical Romance
Thank God for Esteban – Panic! at the Disco
What Am I to say – Sum 41

I’m tired now, and i really do have better things to do. No, seriously. You might think it’s fun for me to sit and write down song titles that came up on shuffle, but I only have so good memory skills, and there were loads more and I have better things to talk about.

____________________________________

Today was H’s birthday! PARTAY TIME! Not really. He has an exam tomorrow. So we just got cake, which was awesome frigging nommy! (word jumble, ’cause I can do so) Butterscotch Cake, I need to give you more credit, ’cause damn! I shouldn’t have thought of cake, I’ll have to go and eat some now. :/ Maybe I should get some coffee too, to go with the cake.

Coffee reminds me of Gerard Way, and the way the twitter verse goes crazy each time he tweets something, even if it’s just, “Coffee”. I think everyone is scared that if they don’t reply to, and praise every tweet he makes, he’ll leave twitter land again, never to be heard again for a long long time, or till he gets bored enough to tweet again, whichever comes later. 😀 Don’t get me wrong, I was excited too when I checked my phone and saw he’d stepped back into the realm, but I can’t, and maybe don’t even want to, fangirl over single tweet he makes. I don’t think I have enough energy to do that. I think this is a sign that I’m growing old. I’m not judging anyone who does so by the way to each his/her own. And whatever makes him stay here, he does say funny stuff sometimes 😀

Just a reminder – BATMAN FTW!!

Yep.

to the batmobile . . . . . . . . . . 

Linkin Park. It starts with, Hybrid Theory.

24 Oct

|WARNING – This post is going to be long, sappy and maybe even unbearable in some points. If you think you can handle it, read on, If not, well it’s not even really thaaat bad. Give it a try. It’s gonna be a lot like https://perceivedorder.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/thank-you-my-chemical-romance-for-bringing-us-your-bullets-so-we-could-give-you-our-love/ |

2001 

My brother had a friend. (Annoying, but now I’m kinda grateful to him) That friend had an elder brother, who , in the year of 2001, wanted to start a band. So he was way into bands that were just starting out, trying to figure out what it would take for them to make. (Long story short, he formed the band, they covered stuff, and then the summer vacation got over. It was a classic, Summer of ’01). So he used to create these CD’s filled with videos and songs, and then get his brother to distribute them to the people he knew in order to get their feedback on what they liked most about the bands.

So, one day, in November (he kept making those damn CD’s, maybe hoping to take off next summer!) he came over with another one of those CD’s, and as i didn’t want to study, this was like a blessing. So I sat down with them, with pen and paper in hand to take notes, and we started the CD. There was Incubus, and some random stuff (do you really expect me to remember every single detail?! Is this not creepy enough that I remember so much from that day!) So yeah, we’re watching the CD, and then this video starts, and this intro starts. And its Piano and something, and there’s this guy, with blonde hair walking out of this tunnel (At first, I thought it was Eminem). And all three of us are just sitting there watching it.

Now there’s a guy in black, with red and black spiky hair, and he’s in this desert-ish setting, and there are thorns and vines shooting out of the ground, and he’s rapping, and blonde guy is singing, and we’re just sitting and staring at the screen. Then the guitars kick in, and there are 6 guys, on a tower, which is basically this giant stone lady, and she Gargoyles (awesome!) on her head, and they’re playing there, and I know, then, as i’m sitting there staring at this, and the music, and “In the end, it doesn’t even matter. . . .  I knew. This band had me hooked. It actually took me some time to find out what they were called. It was a ripped video, so I knew the song was In the End by Linkin Park . But , at that time, I thought Mike Shinoda was Linkin Park 😐

2012

The thing is that, if you have a favorite band, or a favorite artist, anything can get you hooked. Anything. But that doesn’t also always have to be the case. Sometimes, it takes time to get to know and love a certain kind of music. (Like, it took me time to like Good Charlotte). But, with Linkin Park, like with My Chemical Romance, there was instant thing. For MCR, it was just the name of a song that got me intrigued, with Linkin Park, it was a video.

11 years. Wow. That’s almost half my life. For that long I’ve loved this band, that have given me  Hybrid Theory and Meteora, they’re angry and emotional and just so raw, there’s Minutes to Midnight, people complained, I still don’t get why, you have Leave out All The Rest, that almost gets me to tears each time, and you have Bleed It Out, the live version of which makes sing along with them! and this together with A Thousand Suns, are I think 2 very unappreciated albums. Living Things, is brilliant! It’s amazing and wonderful and I am so proud of the fact that they’ve grown and developed so much, from Crawling to Castle of GlassHybrid Theory. Whether you’re a Linkin Park fan or not, chances are that if you’ve heard about Linkin Park, then you’ve heard about Hybrid Theory. Almost everyone has, it is after the BEST SELLING DEBUT ALBUM of THE DECADE. Yeah. You heard that right.

My Hybrid Theory CD is so worn out, I rarely even take it out of  my cupboard now. It’s like a keepsake of my childhood. And one of the most valuable things I own. Its just filled with so much, I don’t wanna use the word emotion, but that seems to be the only one that fits here. And you can relate to it. Anyone can. Growing up, the troubles, the tough times, you relate to it. And that’s what makes Hybrid Theory so special. Papercut and Points of Authority, have always been my favorites, though the video for Papercut did spook me out a little when I first saw it, (11!  Keep that in mind!) , and when the included With You in the setlist again this year, i did a little Whoop! in my room. Crawling, that’s playing in the background now, listen to it. With your good headphones on (is it just me, who has two of ’em?) . Just close your eyes and listen to it. I get Goosebumps when I do that. And the number of times I’ve sung Runaway to myself, trying to keep all my anger inside. Music helps me keep my emotions in, its helps me stay calm. A Place for my Head, which is playing right now, “you try to take the best of me, Go Away!” , when Chester screams in this,and there’s By Myself,  I’m in awe of his voice. Even after all these years. Chester Bennigton has, without a doubt, on of the most amazing voices in the world! Mike Shinoda‘s rapping, (he didn’t start singing till Minutes to Midnight) , Brad Delson‘s epic guitar backing the song and Rob Delson, who is seriously unappreciated, its all Chester and Mike, for most of the fans, :/  and, ofcourse Mr. Hahn! Dude is epic. I’m just gonna leave it at that. Phoenix wasn’t there permanently till Meteora.

You know, “I brought you my bullets . . . .”, was so much easier for me to talk about, becuase of how hard it to define it. Hybrid Theory, with all its easy definitions and descriptions is a struggle for me to talk about, because its not about it fitting into one particular musical style for me. For me its about an album that I connected with me, that gave me songs I can vent my anger to, because songs listen and understand with you. And I don’t have words to explain that bond. It’s more than genres and nu metal for me, it’s more about an album that was there for me, when i needed support and someone who would get me. And Hybrid Theory got me. And helped me. And I really don’t know how to explain that. With words like these, that gave me strength and were with me as i grew up, how can I even begin to explain something like that?

But I know just what it feels like,to have a voice in the back of my head
Like a face that I hold inside.
A face that awakes when I close my eyes,a face that watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall.

I find the answers aren’t so clear,Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense,I find bliss in ignorance

When things go wrong I pretend the past isn’t real

You like to think you’re never wrong,you have to act like you’re someone
You want someone to hurt like you,you want to share what you have been through

without a sense of confidence and I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take

I wanna run away,never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth,instead of wondering why

How do you think I’ve lost so much,I’m so afraid that I’m out of touch
How do you expect… I will know what to do,when all I know Is what you tell me to

I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far,but in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I’m so sick of the tension, sick of the hunger
Sick of you acting like I owe you this

The memory now is like the picture was then 
When the paper’s crumpled up it can’t be perfect again

Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down

I’ve said this about 2 or 3 times now, but its a fact, songs are like time capsules. And Hybrid Theory, in each and every song, has a part of me. I feel the same sense of belonging today, as I did 11 years back. I listen to Hybrid Theory, and i find Somewhere I Belong ❤ 😀 

Hybrid Theory started the journey for me, it gave the teenage me a place to vent, Meteora just cemented it, Minutes to Midnight was a calm in the storm. A Thousand Suns was like a breath of fresh air, and Living Things continues that. Like I’ve said before, I’m not done growing up.

12 years of Hybrid Theory! 

I’m so old. *facepalm*