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Off with her head.

3 Oct

WordPress. I haven’t forgotten about you, I just have better things to do.

Okay, not really. I’m just so tired all the time!! ugh. Teaching is fuckin hard and someone should have warned me about it. Trying to teach 34 2nd grade kids who’re 3 years behind grade level and can barely speak english is a nightmare, but given a chance I won’t change it at all.

Other than that, it’s all kind of been really lame. Besides that fact that I’m drinking fairly regularly. Funnily enough this time last time, I’d had only 2 drinks in my entire life and just Tuesday I was out till 3 am. Nana’s in the hospital, they say he might have lung cancer. Hes 90 years old. Pixie might have an infection. Life just goes on getting suckier by the day.

Anyway, take a song and i’ll try to be back soon.

GHOST TOWN – Off with her head. 

Yeah, this downward spiral’s going viral,
In the coliseum people screamin’, “Off with her head!”
I’ve never been so loyal, nor have I bowed so deeply.
Locked in the pillory, I’m paralyzed.
Is this a reflection of humanity?
No this mustn’t be the end. No this mustn’t be the end!


And guarantee a source divine.

27 Nov

There’s a lot I want to talk about. Loads and loads of things, I’d thought ’em all out, I wanted to talk about my top 3 lyricists, the mystery of the missing hair bands that led me to make a new one out of golden ribbon, which I wear all the time now, the fact that FatDog turned four a few days back. I want to talk about all of that. But, currently I’m a little busy marveling at my lack of reaction.

My complete lack of any kind of reaction to the fact that one of my friends was in the hospital. To the fact that he has something which is incurable  To the fact that I’m one of the only few people who know, mostly ’cause he needed my “logical” opinion on something. The fact that i’m not having any reaction of any kind. Wow. This is something that’s bothered me ever since my grandpa asked me if I even miss MM. After I got over the anger, i thought about it. I don’t cry. When everyone sits together, and conversation (as always) turns to her, and everyone cries, I don’t. I’m the one who’s staring at the floor, feeling awkward. I don’t sit and miss her and cry. In fact I try not to think about her. This would make sense if I was an inherently emotionless person, but I’m not. I’m one of the most emotional people I know. Till last year I used to cry a lot. ALOT! So this is kind of disturbing, now that I’ve noticed it.

It’s like I’m immune to all kinds of pain now. Like sad pains. I distinctly remember shedding a tear last month when mom got all in my face, so I still get angry/frustrated.


This is certainly interesting.

Placebo – Blind

(I’m on such a Placebo rush these days! When I’m not listening to Flo Rida. 😐 )
(^ I’ll elaborate on that later)
I know I broke it.


And if you say this makes you happy . . . .

10 Nov

|It’s a bad idea to try to understand my post titles. The have no absolutely no relation to the actual posts whatsoever. |

I’m in such a band documentary kind of mood right now, I just had to write about it. 😐

Seriously though, all i want to do is curl up in my blanket (WHY is it so cold! It’s only November!) with my laptop and loads and loads of tea, and just watch all the band documentary’s and DVD’s that I can. But I can’t do that, ’cause

1) It’s 12 am, and while time is never a hindrance, ’cause it’s not like I can sleep either ways  but I have to be up at 6 tomorrow(I’ve forgotten what a real Sunday feels like, I hate you November weekends), and only, only if i put my headphones on and try to fall asleep now, I’ll most probably (hopefully!), be able to fall asleep by 3 am. Thank God for sad songs.

2) My DVD’s (the ones I have) are in another room. And I’m really cozy and comfy in my blanket right now with FatDog on my feet. I’d be crazy to move right now. (and i’m gonna need to go to the bathroom in exactly 3….2…1…! Ofc).

3) H is watching the Manchester United match online, ’cause Dad mad him switch off the TV seeing that he has a practical exam tomorrow. As if that would stop him. 😀 BUT, i lost the game of Stone, Paper, Scissors so he gets unchallenged internet usage. And both of us can definitely not watch videos at the same time, uninterrupted that it. So youtube is out of the question too.

*sigh* What must one do when one feels like just enjoying their favorite bands goofing off and throwing wet toilet paper at passerbys from their hotel room, TPing their band mates room, breaking a hotel table and then hiding the pieces (they’re under the sofa), and returning a foul smelling Chicken Fricassee to the kitchen via their window and through the skylight? What? 😀

FYI, all of the above band exploits are just from Frat Party at the Pankake Festival, which is Linkin Parks first DVD, and if you love LP, and you’ve not yet seen this, you really need to. Like really really, ’cause this is one the best things I’ve ever seen!!!

It’s classic funny Linkin Park. Like they always are 🙂  AND there’s the Easter Eggs! Seriously, trust LP to hide stuff, conduct scavenger hunts, and just make stuff fun.

BUT, i can’t see it now, ’cause of warm bed and my sad Rock, Paper, Scissors skills.

We should have played Rock, Paper, Scissor, Lizard Spock.

I think I would have won that.

With my mad skills for all things not normal.

Nobody Puts Baby in The Corner – Fall Out Boy

I’ll be your best kept secret 
And your biggest mistake.
The hand behind this pen relives a failure every day.

(whats up with this sudden found love for italics!)

I don’t have a Lawyer,and hopefully no one will sue me.

6 Nov


The day my iTunes shuffle decided to be nice to me and play good songs, one after the other. 😀

Seriously, I hate putting my iPod or any other music player on shuffle, ’cause I have songs in ’em that I don’t really listen to anymore, they pop up all of a sudden and that just ruins it. I didn’t even the realise the friggin thing was on shuffle!. Anyway, it’s like one of those moments thingys. Songs.

It started with –

Our lawyer made us change the name of the song so we wouldn’t get sued – Fall Out Boy 
Honey this mirror, isn’t big enough for the two of us – My Chemical Romance (This song is so so apt today, it’s ridiculous.)
Baby Dracula – Scarling.
 The Capitol – Good Charlotte
Sons Gonna Rise – Citizen Cope
Victimized – Linkin Park
Reinventing the wheel to run myself over – Fall Out Boy
Thirsty and Miserable – Black Flag
Wicked Game – Three Days Grace
Famous Last Words – My Chemical Romance (I get a mini heart attack each time this comes up on shuffle)
Post Blue – Placebo
Called Out In the Dark – Travis
Wouldn’t it be good – Danny Hutton Hitters (Pretty in Pink OST)
Seize the Day – Avenged Sevenfold  
Something in my eye – Turin Brakes
Blackout – Linkin Park
My Boy builds Coffins – Florence and the Machine
Ready for love – Mindless Self Indulgence
I can’t make up my mind – The Zombies 
To The End – My Chemical Romance
Thank God for Esteban – Panic! at the Disco
What Am I to say – Sum 41

I’m tired now, and i really do have better things to do. No, seriously. You might think it’s fun for me to sit and write down song titles that came up on shuffle, but I only have so good memory skills, and there were loads more and I have better things to talk about.


Today was H’s birthday! PARTAY TIME! Not really. He has an exam tomorrow. So we just got cake, which was awesome frigging nommy! (word jumble, ’cause I can do so) Butterscotch Cake, I need to give you more credit, ’cause damn! I shouldn’t have thought of cake, I’ll have to go and eat some now. :/ Maybe I should get some coffee too, to go with the cake.

Coffee reminds me of Gerard Way, and the way the twitter verse goes crazy each time he tweets something, even if it’s just, “Coffee”. I think everyone is scared that if they don’t reply to, and praise every tweet he makes, he’ll leave twitter land again, never to be heard again for a long long time, or till he gets bored enough to tweet again, whichever comes later. 😀 Don’t get me wrong, I was excited too when I checked my phone and saw he’d stepped back into the realm, but I can’t, and maybe don’t even want to, fangirl over single tweet he makes. I don’t think I have enough energy to do that. I think this is a sign that I’m growing old. I’m not judging anyone who does so by the way to each his/her own. And whatever makes him stay here, he does say funny stuff sometimes 😀

Just a reminder – BATMAN FTW!!


to the batmobile . . . . . . . . . . 

Linkin Park. It starts with, Hybrid Theory.

24 Oct

|WARNING – This post is going to be long, sappy and maybe even unbearable in some points. If you think you can handle it, read on, If not, well it’s not even really thaaat bad. Give it a try. It’s gonna be a lot like |


My brother had a friend. (Annoying, but now I’m kinda grateful to him) That friend had an elder brother, who , in the year of 2001, wanted to start a band. So he was way into bands that were just starting out, trying to figure out what it would take for them to make. (Long story short, he formed the band, they covered stuff, and then the summer vacation got over. It was a classic, Summer of ’01). So he used to create these CD’s filled with videos and songs, and then get his brother to distribute them to the people he knew in order to get their feedback on what they liked most about the bands.

So, one day, in November (he kept making those damn CD’s, maybe hoping to take off next summer!) he came over with another one of those CD’s, and as i didn’t want to study, this was like a blessing. So I sat down with them, with pen and paper in hand to take notes, and we started the CD. There was Incubus, and some random stuff (do you really expect me to remember every single detail?! Is this not creepy enough that I remember so much from that day!) So yeah, we’re watching the CD, and then this video starts, and this intro starts. And its Piano and something, and there’s this guy, with blonde hair walking out of this tunnel (At first, I thought it was Eminem). And all three of us are just sitting there watching it.

Now there’s a guy in black, with red and black spiky hair, and he’s in this desert-ish setting, and there are thorns and vines shooting out of the ground, and he’s rapping, and blonde guy is singing, and we’re just sitting and staring at the screen. Then the guitars kick in, and there are 6 guys, on a tower, which is basically this giant stone lady, and she Gargoyles (awesome!) on her head, and they’re playing there, and I know, then, as i’m sitting there staring at this, and the music, and “In the end, it doesn’t even matter. . . .  I knew. This band had me hooked. It actually took me some time to find out what they were called. It was a ripped video, so I knew the song was In the End by Linkin Park . But , at that time, I thought Mike Shinoda was Linkin Park 😐


The thing is that, if you have a favorite band, or a favorite artist, anything can get you hooked. Anything. But that doesn’t also always have to be the case. Sometimes, it takes time to get to know and love a certain kind of music. (Like, it took me time to like Good Charlotte). But, with Linkin Park, like with My Chemical Romance, there was instant thing. For MCR, it was just the name of a song that got me intrigued, with Linkin Park, it was a video.

11 years. Wow. That’s almost half my life. For that long I’ve loved this band, that have given me  Hybrid Theory and Meteora, they’re angry and emotional and just so raw, there’s Minutes to Midnight, people complained, I still don’t get why, you have Leave out All The Rest, that almost gets me to tears each time, and you have Bleed It Out, the live version of which makes sing along with them! and this together with A Thousand Suns, are I think 2 very unappreciated albums. Living Things, is brilliant! It’s amazing and wonderful and I am so proud of the fact that they’ve grown and developed so much, from Crawling to Castle of GlassHybrid Theory. Whether you’re a Linkin Park fan or not, chances are that if you’ve heard about Linkin Park, then you’ve heard about Hybrid Theory. Almost everyone has, it is after the BEST SELLING DEBUT ALBUM of THE DECADE. Yeah. You heard that right.

My Hybrid Theory CD is so worn out, I rarely even take it out of  my cupboard now. It’s like a keepsake of my childhood. And one of the most valuable things I own. Its just filled with so much, I don’t wanna use the word emotion, but that seems to be the only one that fits here. And you can relate to it. Anyone can. Growing up, the troubles, the tough times, you relate to it. And that’s what makes Hybrid Theory so special. Papercut and Points of Authority, have always been my favorites, though the video for Papercut did spook me out a little when I first saw it, (11!  Keep that in mind!) , and when the included With You in the setlist again this year, i did a little Whoop! in my room. Crawling, that’s playing in the background now, listen to it. With your good headphones on (is it just me, who has two of ’em?) . Just close your eyes and listen to it. I get Goosebumps when I do that. And the number of times I’ve sung Runaway to myself, trying to keep all my anger inside. Music helps me keep my emotions in, its helps me stay calm. A Place for my Head, which is playing right now, “you try to take the best of me, Go Away!” , when Chester screams in this,and there’s By Myself,  I’m in awe of his voice. Even after all these years. Chester Bennigton has, without a doubt, on of the most amazing voices in the world! Mike Shinoda‘s rapping, (he didn’t start singing till Minutes to Midnight) , Brad Delson‘s epic guitar backing the song and Rob Delson, who is seriously unappreciated, its all Chester and Mike, for most of the fans, :/  and, ofcourse Mr. Hahn! Dude is epic. I’m just gonna leave it at that. Phoenix wasn’t there permanently till Meteora.

You know, “I brought you my bullets . . . .”, was so much easier for me to talk about, becuase of how hard it to define it. Hybrid Theory, with all its easy definitions and descriptions is a struggle for me to talk about, because its not about it fitting into one particular musical style for me. For me its about an album that I connected with me, that gave me songs I can vent my anger to, because songs listen and understand with you. And I don’t have words to explain that bond. It’s more than genres and nu metal for me, it’s more about an album that was there for me, when i needed support and someone who would get me. And Hybrid Theory got me. And helped me. And I really don’t know how to explain that. With words like these, that gave me strength and were with me as i grew up, how can I even begin to explain something like that?

But I know just what it feels like,to have a voice in the back of my head
Like a face that I hold inside.
A face that awakes when I close my eyes,a face that watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall.

I find the answers aren’t so clear,Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense,I find bliss in ignorance

When things go wrong I pretend the past isn’t real

You like to think you’re never wrong,you have to act like you’re someone
You want someone to hurt like you,you want to share what you have been through

without a sense of confidence and I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take

I wanna run away,never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth,instead of wondering why

How do you think I’ve lost so much,I’m so afraid that I’m out of touch
How do you expect… I will know what to do,when all I know Is what you tell me to

I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far,but in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I’m so sick of the tension, sick of the hunger
Sick of you acting like I owe you this

The memory now is like the picture was then 
When the paper’s crumpled up it can’t be perfect again

Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down

I’ve said this about 2 or 3 times now, but its a fact, songs are like time capsules. And Hybrid Theory, in each and every song, has a part of me. I feel the same sense of belonging today, as I did 11 years back. I listen to Hybrid Theory, and i find Somewhere I Belong ❤ 😀 

Hybrid Theory started the journey for me, it gave the teenage me a place to vent, Meteora just cemented it, Minutes to Midnight was a calm in the storm. A Thousand Suns was like a breath of fresh air, and Living Things continues that. Like I’ve said before, I’m not done growing up.

12 years of Hybrid Theory! 

I’m so old. *facepalm*

Come on, Come on, Its the end of the world.

20 Oct

| Damn. Its been ages since I last did this! But, its also been ages since I last posted something here. No better way to “try” to start again, than by this! So quit your whining WordPress, you wanted a post, you’re getting one! And not just a a random rambly post, but a time stop one! SO yay! 

Whatever. Enjoy. |


Three Days Grace – Chalk Outline

All Time Low – Time Bomb

The Manchester Orchestra – I can Barely Breathe 

Boys Like Girls – The Only Way that I know how to feel

Placebo – Ashtray Heart 

You Me At Six – There’s no such thing as accidental infidelity



Thank you My Chemical Romance, for bringing us your Bullets, so we could give you our love.

23 Jul

| WARNING – This post is going to be long, sappy and maybe even unbearable in some points. If you think you can handle it, read on, If not, well it’s not even really thaaat bad. Give it a try|

January 2003

I’m 12, standing in the school bus, just wanting to get home after another long day of school. I generally stand close to these older kids, ’cause that way people may age trouble me less,i had no interest in talking about how cute Bon Jovi is. Yeah i wouldn’t mind talking about his music, but i hate when people pay attention to everything other than the MUSIC, surprisingly the big kids take pity on me, and let me stand near them.On this day, ( I don’t remember the exact date 😦 ) they’re talking about this band. One of the older kids’ cousins live in NYC, and they’re here for a visit. Generally cousins from US means new band merch or CD’s. And because i really have nothing better to do, standing there in the bus, i eavesdrop (yeah, i know that’s wrong, but trust me i don’t regret it), and they’re talking about Vampires. Now do keep in mind, back in 2003, Vampires were still cool, and this whole big scary thing, not sparkly ones who climb on trees. Anyways, they’re talking about ’em, and how this band has a song on the CD called Vampires will never hurt you’ and how its pretty awesome. And in that moment, i wanted nothing more than to listen to that song. I dunno why, maybe i thought that would sort of help me on the path to coolness, or maybe it was just one of things that you have to do, or know. I still have no clue why i needed to listen to song so badly. Maybe it was ’cause of the name,  ‘Vampires will never hurt you’, maybe i thought that would help me, i dunno, the fact was that i needed to listen to it. So i turned to the kids, and as politely and sweetly as i could said, ‘Can i please borrow the CD for a day.’ and they just stared at me, but then she handed me the CD. Just like that. (She’s one of my best friends, somehow sharing mutual love and admiration for a band leads to a great friendship) So, i took it home, and went straight to ‘Vampires will Never hurt you’ and listened to it. and then again, and then again and basically for an hour all i did was keep listening to that song. As a result of which, i only got till ‘Early Sunsets…‘ and by then it was time to sleep. I didn’t get to listen to ‘This is the best day ever‘ , ‘Cubicles‘ and “Demolition Lovers‘, until a year later.

I returned the CD to her the next day, and didn’t ask for it again. I wanted the next time i listen to it, be when i get the CD for myself. Which happened a year later when i bought “Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge” and “I brought you my Bullets, you brought me your love”.  It still is really hard to find MCR CD’s here, but luckily, even i have a few cousins who live in the US. 😉


July 23rd, 2012

 I’m sitting here today, with my almost 8 year old copy of Bullets. It’s scratched and looks like it’s been played a million times. Which it most probably has been. My mum keeps telling me that i change the case, but i just stare at her for even suggesting something like that. Luckily, both my parents are music fans, albeit music different from what i listen to, but they understand what it means to love a band, to love a song. They may not give me money to buy CD’s and band merch, but they never stop me too. As, Demolition Lovers plays in the background, i can’t help but think, they made it 10 years ago. Gerard sang this song 10 years ago, Frank wasn’t there during the recording, i don’t even know if he was a part of MCR yet. They were all young, just a few years older than i am now. They’d all tried to be something and had failed, but they didn’t give up. They decided to give it one last try. And the result of this last try is what’s playing in my CD player right now. ‘Bullets’ may not have done well commercially, but every MCR fan has a special place for it in their heart. It’s the beginning of My Chemical Romance. It all started with Skylines and Turnstiles, which is playing now.

‘I brought you my bullets, you brought me your love’, never got the recognition it deserves. It’s underrated. Maybe its ’cause its so complicated, so random, so without a theme. Like, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge is about fitting in, being who you are, acceptance, The Black Parade is about death and dealing with it, and also hope, somehow people always mostly fixate on the death part and Danger Days is mad,wild, and basically just brilliant. There’s no single theme to I Brought you my bullets, you brought me your love.  And that’s what i love about it.  The randomness is exciting ’cause each song has a different feel. But , i guess that’s also why there are people who don’t like it.

I was 12 when i first heard Bullets, Gerard was 24 when he wrote the lyrics. I didn’t get at first, in fact i’m sure that i still don’t understand it completely. But, its been 8 years. I’ve grown up with it, understanding it. Each song is different, each song stands on its own. Like,Our Lady of Sorrows, that’s playing now, it’s nothing like Drowning Lessons before it, or  Headfirst for Halos, thats after it. And no matter how many times i listen to it, there are still lyrics that jump out at me, for their meaning, their brilliance and simplicity. 

Well I’ll choose the life I’ve taken, never mind the friends I’m making
and the beauty that I’m faking lets me live my life like this’ ,

like ghosts in the snow, 

Let’s say goodbye, the hundredth time,and then tomorrow we’ll do it again,

Oh how wrong we were to think ,that immortality meant never dying,

And as the fragments of my skull begin to fall
Fall on your tongue like pixie dust just think happy thoughts,

And in this moment we can’t close the lids on burning eyes
Our memories blanket us with friends we know like fallout vapors,

And there’s no room in this hell,
There’s no room in the next,

From silent dreams we never wake, and in this promise that we’ll make
Starless eyes for heaven’s sake,

I think I’d love to die alone,

All we are, all we are , is bullets I mean this.

‘Bullets’ is filled with moments, loads and loads of moments.I think I’ve said this before in some earlier post, but songs are like time capsules.They have memories and moments attached to them, And these songs were written 10 years ago. By people wanting to give their dream another try, to not give up, just ’cause life didn’t work out for them. I listen to these songs, as Honey this mirror isn’t big enough for the two of us plays now, this was sung by a pre-Life On The Murder Scene Gerard, and there was Ray who’d been playing drums in a band, and Mikey who left college to join this band, and Frank who’s My Chemical Romance’s first fan. I’m awestruck.

I don’t choose favorites, i love all albums and songs equally. But i’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for ‘Vampires will never hurt you’, it gave a 12 year old girl hope. I’ve grown up listening to it and Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. Then The Black Parade joined in. Danger Days started the party. and there still plenty more to come. I’m not done growing up.

I can go on and on about Bullets but i’m tired. And It’s now time for me to listen to  Revenge , then there’s LOTMS, TBP, TBPID and then finally DD. (yeah, you won’t get it, its a coded message for the MCRmy. Ha! Unless you’re also a part of the MCRmy, in which case, does this not look  like a coded message? :D)

So, in the end, all i’d want to say is,



(we’re done with the days of red and black)

As always –

Vampires will Never Hurt You 

And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there
Someone get me to the doctor, someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
What if you put the spike in my heart